After all that's happened why do you still care? That is a question that I have been asking myself after many have asked me the same thing. I am without answer, not even my illogical mind can muster a theory or to and even when it tries to it's not a solid one. "You can't care still unless you still have feelings for him!" My lover exclaimed with tears in his eyes. "I love you and only you!" I reassured him. He had a point though, how can I care when the one who brings all that pain back brings me so much much pain even still. I shouldn't really but I do. Subconsciously I do but in the forefront I hate. I have a right to! What he has done to me is scarring, I'm going to have to deal with it for the rest of my life because of him.
He is my sworn enemy but somehow I can stand him. I have been dealing with him for 2 years now, or at least attempting to. It's a never ending cycle between me and him, he does something, I flip or I do something and he flips. Then the rest of it consists of locked arms at each other and gnashing teeth, anyone between us (no matter who they are) gets caught in the firing line and then silence. He tries to figure me out, claiming to know me and I in turn do the only thing that I'm good for. I analyse his behaviour patterns and claim to have his behaviour patterns down and I do but I dare to go deeper, claim to have it down but then I fail. He figures me out and I try to figure out why he does what he does, that's all. That's all it has been, that is all it'll ever be.
The cycle
The expectation of getting hurt
Somehow our lives are intertwined, somehow it's meant to be this way.
I know not why or how, destiny or fate I know not.
Each to their own after OurMindsAfter the storm.
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