Contagious Venom

You ever get that feeling where you are not you, where a once neutral person in terms of jealousy is in ruins purely because they are a non jealous person but it's almost as if a raging storm is creating a turbulence upon the very earth that you walk upon, threatening the ocean to erupt. It's almost as if they're just there, this storm, crushing, no, like a momentous wave that's just crashing as you try to go by or as they go by. It's not poison, no, rather it's venom that's trying to expand, battling with me. It's contained for now but soon it'll claw it's way out and what does one do when the venom, having already had it's way with me, begin to take it's toil on me? I get ride of it by putting on the 'good fight' and ignoring it as best as I possibly can. For what am I if this venom takes control of me? I'll just be just as the whisperings say that I am, an empty chair, a vacant space taking another in their place.

Dilemma!

I'm sure that eventually I'll figure out how it all burned away, how time seemed to be moving so fast and how it was all ripped away from me again but why is that? Why is something that is so sweet has to have the subconscious need of hurting so much? Are the sweetened delights and the sour pain just a way of gaining or is it a way of losing? Could it be both? Could it have been some cruel joke that the tiniest of things that are emphasised are now in turn at a loss or just loosing something for the sake of it? These are the questions that I ask; this is my dilemma.  

Panic creeps into me, worrying me, shaking me of a once sound mind and I ask myself why me, why now? When will these questions come into the Light? Gazing hesitantly at my unsteady hands I watch them shake, taking a single breath once, twice, thrice and then I close my eyes and as I shut my eyes tight I clench my hands into a fist. 1, 2, 3 seconds pass and soon I open my eyes slowly. My hands have stopped shaking and the panic that had once filled me vanished into dust for now but it'll come back, I know it will and then I'll have to fight the eruption again, again and again until the end of time.

Intelligence

There are two types of smart, there's the 'so smart' that is more than noticeable who is basically a whizz in just about anything and everything but that type of 'so smart' is rare. Then there's the 'so smart' that is numeric, which basically means what it states really, an expert in numbers. Then there's me, the literal smart (not the literal as it literally means what it says but the literal that looks further than most, in between the lines and the written words and concepts). That's me, the type of person who that 'so smart', picking in between words and concepts, all words and every word; the unnoticeable intelligence. The third type of smart.

Looking Back On A Memory

I remember a time when slipping into the present time and then to my home, to the unseen world, used to be so easy, getting there and getting back I used to love doing it (and I still do). Everything has changed now but not just that...I've changed and now it's becoming harder and more distant and distorted to go there and get back so sweetly, so swiftly. Just gone and I have to try and get that back now, putting back together a memory; Looking Back On Memory.

And in time this memory will be continued...

My Notes
A very short piece of writing for this one, a sort of 'warm up' if you will from my prolonged writing. As always until my next post cya!
:D

The Defintion Of Me

As it's finally my 18th birthday I am now free to write without the obvious restrictions of the no writing about sex or drugs rule and so on. In addition to this I've decided to write about the obvious freedom that I now have and what you should expect but before I start let me say this and this alone I am the most controversial writer you'll most ever hear about s a matter of opinion. You, the reader may think otherwise but like all great writers in the making that'll become proved or disproved depending on one's perspective. In this I will also say that I, myself am different (as all writers are), in a way that I can only best relate and explain this by the Scripture of His word (John 10:37) which is as follows: 'If I do not do the works of My Father do not believe me.'In comparison to this I can best relate and explain this by the saying of 'you either like it or leave it'. In end of this I say that to you the reader to expect the unexpected, that is all and in a way that is more that I ask for also. Believe this that the truth of it all is this, I can be as unexpected in my writing as He wills it, embarking on such topics and words that in it's self all source from His word in some way. In truth my faith shapes my writing and my writing shapes my faith, looking in between the lines of the obvious and the not so obvious. This, in truth, best defines me as a writer, to be unexpected (up to the limitation of the walls that I have already placed) and as a result the concept of being controversial will takes it's rightful place.


And thus like all things end I start again, stronger, faster and better than ever before! My name is Abigail, I'm 18 years old and I'm writing a fantasy trilogy and a Syfy fantasy series and one day I'll be a successful author!



 Well that is all from me, until my next post. 
Cya!
:D

Flashback

"Does anyone know what the answer is?" The man said, all wide eyed and over enthusiastic s he always is. Hands shot up to answer the unanswered question, all of them eger to please and tell of their theories of the possibility of an answer. Out of all of those hands my hand remained within the revered constraint of  myself, sitting side by side with my lover who, he and I...Suddenly there was movement behind me, a black lanyard latching itself upon my neck and someone pulled. It wasn't a big pull, in fact it was a small one but it was enough to make me feel as if it was choking me on the neck, a single pull of the lanyard and I lost my breath. A single pull and my whole world turned upside down. The choking pressure of the lanyard unlatched itself around and instantly my hands grabbed softly around my neck. I blinked, one long slow motion and when I opened my eyes again everyone was looking ta me, or at least that I think that they were looking at me. Had the lesson ended? Was the lesson ending? Am I really here? I heard the dude that tried to choke me between me and my lover, I heard him kiss my lover twice but my lover declined each time. Was this really happening? Am I even here? I thought hearing the boy behind my lover mutter the distinctive words of "Is she really ticked off?" and then it was my lover who answered "Yeah." Then he said "I didn't even pull it that hard." Or so he claimed leaving my lovers side but then again I was the one who had felt it, the pull that still was as if phantom upon my neck. I could still feel it clawing at my skin, the deprivation of breath. Others had left after him however because more and more people left, all but my lover who sat still beside me answering any and every beckoning question that passed his way when I shut my eyes and zoned out completely, repeatedly, slowly and belatedly, as if it'll help but it didn't. It tried to and in a way it helped, I mean I couldn't see anything or anyone and their presence and their voices seemed to stay with me until I heard them all leave but he stayed (my lover) stayed with me comforting me, saying nothing, saying a little and even that was a lot. A fire boiled in him and in a way a fire boiled in me as well coiled over by the ever so drifting reality and again I find myself asking is this reality, am I still here and did this even happen; did Satan just use someone to try and kill me?


I think often about what had happened, the attempt that was made upon my life and at first I looked back dwelling in fear, staying in the constant dread that filled me, the feeling of the pulling lanyard still a phantom upon my neck and I can't help hide the would be scarred neck until it passes (and it will I know). I'll have to forgive a some point and at the beginning of it all I didn't want to, looking back on it now and my lover didn't (he still doesn't). So I done the only thing that I could do, I prayed and looked to He (the Light of my life) to whom I'm still alive and He showed me how great it'll be to embrace the would be killer with open arms and how awesome it would be to surprise everyone and forgive him for it. For instead of and eye for an eye I chose to forgive, even when I almost died but I'm still alive today, living, thriving, seeing yet another day.

Ultimatum

I find myself at an ultimatum...thinking about it now, the concept, no, the actual reality that I'm going to do the deed as it were. Most things are to me new, a lover's love in exchange for mine, they're kisses all over me are new, even the entire concept of me and my lover (the fact that I even have a lover amazes me). This new reality amazes me but it also scares me as well, when before it was just me and but a few of His elected for me but now it's me, my lover, Him and His chosen for me. Now I walk the path that He has pathed for me but not alone and that changes everything. I suppose that's what love is it comes at the unexpected of moments, making you alive, reviving and relishing in the moments that you have never thought that you could even possibly live for (moments that you never even imagined would include you), enhancing everything and sometimes even the same things but with love you believe in it more, with all your heart and your mind, your spirit up until the very most depth of your being you believe. Then you start to believe in you, in Him, in your lover and the spontaneous wishes that start to come true. Above all you never give up and you never doubt, you just, like a fire starts with a kindle, love sparks and then you both burn, yearn and love each other even more. Words are nothing without the deed of it all being THE deed and thus ends this affair. It's the ultimatum to end all ultimatums, to do the deed and push myself, when with a single push further than normal anxiety takes places and with anxiety comes the explosion. It's a risk but aren't all things? The only difference is that this time; this time there is no middle ground, only this time this is it. 

A Daughters Rage

"And now I will perform my greatest trick ever, I will disappear and this time I will never come back!" I said.
"Don't be like that I had no choice! You know that." He said stepping forward, his hands gesturing in a plea but she wasn't having any of it. A fire burned in her, a fire that had once been ice cold but that same ice cold fire burned and as it burned it all came rushing out, all of it, the memories of when her dad just left her helpless and alone; so much so that she could even remember that day as if it were today, any day and the day it's self.
"Don't." She muttered but he hadn't heard her.
"Please..." He said stepping forward but she backed away, glaring at him all the while.
"I said don't!" She snapped back at him, giving a sideways glance all the while.
"I had no choice!" He said, his hands still pleading but only this time it wasn't  just his hands that were just still stretched in a gestured plea to touch her but his eyes to, those cold blue eyes that seems to stare into the deepest void of her. That was that part that scared her the most.
"Don't you even presume to talk to me about having no choice, you of all people who know nothing about choice. There is always a choice!" She shouted turning around to face him and that's when it happened the rest of all just blew over.

Night And Day

There's something about today that is different, that seems unresolved and incomplete somehow. At first I just longed for the day to end and tomorrow to come again, to see a face again but I can't not notice the feeling of forgetting something, that one person or I suppose something that I am to have presumed on missing. That feeling surpasses all as if somehow and in some way the day was telling me that it was not yet finished, that there was one more task to achieve and complete whilst all the while the day just lingers and myself with it. Time never froze though as and as the girl sat there writing all this she looked up to the sky and realised that it was time for bed. Shoot, she thought, the day hadn't lingered it was just all in my head!

My Note

This one is a short one (I know) but as I keep on hinting at more is still to come, much more, especially now as a certain 'name day' is approaching by the end of this week which gives me access to more material that I can actually publish to you all...but you'll hear more about that a little more on my next post until then cya!

Dream Drifting

"What are you up to?" He asked.
"Just pondering a dream that I had last night." I answered, vividly hearing but then again not hearing at the same time, seeing it all in a trance that came to me.
"What was the dream about?" He asked and it was in that moment that I looked up at him, wide eyed and seeing but then again not seeing anything at all, amongst all of this dreaming all the while but then not dreaming at the same time.
"I don't really know." I answered slowly, as if it the answer of his question hadn't already came into mind when it had, I mean I was speaking it wasn't I?
"The dream...it just comes to me like flashed you know, like I remember certain things, places, people and sayings. Sometimes I can remember the words and I used to remember all of it, needing to write all of it down before it's soon forgotten but now I'm just not sure anymore." I added slowly after a pause.
"Why aren't you sure anymore though?" He asked.
"I'm not sure anymore because this time things have changed, I have changed and everything is different. I always knew that you know how things would be different, that I'd be different only..." I started to say but then then the rest of my words faltered flat on it's face and a tear ran my face.
"Only what...?" He asked, frowning a little but it was clear to see the worry that was written upon his face and why wouldn't he be worried when even I myself was worried.
"Only... I knew that each year is different and that each year the side effects becomes more but...I'm sinking deeper and deeper into what isn't there and then what is and I can't stop it; I just can't stop it!" I confessed and in a way I never could, stop what is happening to me and  as the tears fell from my face then I knew and then it all poured out; it just kept on pouring out!


The inevitable can't be stopped but maybe someday it will, so still I hope and still I pray that all will come back together again...that I come back together again.

My Note

After a while of not being able to write for certain reasons and others (I'm not really going to go into that) but my point is this piece came to mind in this way. It's different, more vivid dialogue between the characters and so on but I hope that you all enjoyed reading it. As always please feel free to leave a comment, recommend this page and until my next post or yet another guest appearance cya!
:D

Justice

A person, a ruler, God with the authority of changing it all. A choice, a decision, the intuitive that is to make the necessary choices in all things. Someone has to make the decision, something has to make the choices that no one can...only some of us aren't strong enough to let the fire burn where the flame is already kindled and light. It waits for a combustion to ignite and a single choice will make it that way or not. The fire burns and the choice has to be made as the dominos fall, each one hitting one another, falling, falling, falling by choice.
It's a choice and that single choice can let the fire ignite, a claimed furnace within a single person's words, heart or mind the decision stays the same. Do you fight or do you fall? In the same way do you make peace or do you extent to war?
Decide!

Love, Life, Loss

My Note: Gust Appearance 2

 Well, it's that time again for me to reveal the next guest appearance called the 'Tear Of Mordant Dew' (TOMD for short). As you can see there is no personal introduction for them (other than the small introduction embedded within the writing it's self) but still another writer to welcome into this blog! As always please leave your comments, remember to recommend and Happy Reading People!
Until my next post cya!
;)

                                            Love, Life, Loss

                                                   by Tear Of The Mordant Dew

Hello I am the Tear Of The Mordant Dew, the blaze of a blast furnace, I am here and I am not, me and myself are two different people and I know things…… some things I shouldn’t know, some things I love knowing and I’m also confused about things one such thing being the nature of human beings I’ve seen so many sides of it some of them being cold, vindictive and unforgiving, plotting, scheming and manipulating others for their own personal gain they try to chain me, control me, they put up endless restrictions and barriers they try to bend and mould me they try to control me, lead me in the wrong directions. Then the side I’ve only seen recently and in one person she displays such selflessness such care and compassion she gives so much love and devotion I can hardly believe it she is so forgiving and understanding she sees what most can’t see and when she bites her lip it just resonates with me and her touch is just so careful and gentle she takes the utmost care with every movement and when I look at her I can’t help but love her for everything she is and still can’t get my head around the fact that she loves me too, there aren’t any words that exist to explain it. And the violent one now this isn’t violent like hitting someone once and walking away this is the “I’ll keep on punching till they’re unable to speak” violent the side that thinks of bloodshed pure and simple any excuse will do or sometimes it’s unnecessary it must have blood…it calls constantly ever hungry for more violence, greater acts of suffering…this is my dark secret…I have this side…far more prominent in my past still here now but suppressed, locked away by oaths and promises never to be released on anyone…ever…she eases my pain, puts more chains around him stopping him from creating endless wars with other people the mountains don’t give back what they take, though one thing I was given was the seer eyes…everything slows the air feels cold everything warps with anything the dull canvas becomes a rich palette of colours all mixed in with each other with grotesque beauty, the endless blue becomes a rippling tide of black, the tree’s burst ablaze and the sky darkens into a rich purple, windows become unbearable to look at, I can see myself and then I can see myself (if that makes sense) and the faces of this world intertwine with the faces of theirs oblivious to each other’s presence save for one or two some think that I’m the one who will fade oh how wrong they are I’m not a spineless child, I don’t run and hide from things, I stand and fight, I give it my all, I go on to the bitter end, though it is hard maintaining a reputation when inside you’re the opposite but I must keep that reputation after all One sword keeps another in the sheathe …I’m sorry if this is all a bit confusing but look through it enough times and you’ll understand, if you know me already then you probably know about most of what I’ve said if you know me or not let me tell you this:

 

I will not bow

 

I will not break

 

I will not turn and run away

 

I will not fall

 

I will not fade

 

I am on this earth to stay

 

I’ll survive every night

 

Cause I’ve got the will to change

 

I will not serve

 

I will not sway

 

Hope you’re not in my firing range

Time Bound

My Note

This one is a big one, a work in progress and more. I hope you all enjoy reading it, until my next post.
Cya!
;)

How long has it been? She thought, being frozen in the motion of one space and not the other, time stuck, 'frozen in time' and stuck in a time lapse and then time bound. How long has it been since the days that she walked alone with only a lamp to guide her? How long? Too long she responded because now she has both a lamp and the earth that guides her but then again what is the earth now? I suppose that's what the problem is, to have walked on pure air (the only true air that there is) for so long only to find that gravity meets you as it met her. The earth, pressing beneath her feet, reminding her of a connection that she once had  with the earth, feeling every pulse beneath her feet; first the ground, sand, grass and then the oceans placed surface. It felt so long ago to her, like a distant memory but it just kept on lingering and building until she realised that she walked too far for too long and ran the race that still she runs. It's time to wake up a voice cried but no one spoke only the tough loved reality that beckoned her, calling her in the deepest voids of her dreams it was there (it was always just there)!
What if I don't want to? She thought, knowing she has to, knowing that she must escape the frozen time that's trapped her. Don't get caught the voice had said and then she did in the same way that the predator catches their prey when the walls are all gathered together round them. The scared girl escapes still.
How does she go on again, to reconnect with a single being again, where being frozen for so long she melts into the storm. Everything will get better soon and the girl will come back to being again but until then she remains, captivated, distort, distressed, blinded by the question that haunts her day in and day out: What next?

All Done Now

My Notes

To the first of one of the many guest appearances let’s give a warm welcome to Star-Crossed Temptress, they’re the first one’s up for this guest appearance line up. As always please feel free to comment and recommend this page. Well, that’s all from me (for now), until my next little intro or post.

Cya

And ...

Happy Reading People!

Guest Appearance 1

Hi I am Star-Crossed Tempest
This poem is about someone who I love and despite what me and him been through I always love him. And yes that's fine with me.

                                              All Done Now

                                                                    by Star-Crossed Tempest

You’re not superman, you’re not a famous person but you are one of a kind person who would always stand out to me. Our personalities connect together like two puzzle pieces that go together and our love is strong because no matter what we have both been through our love got through it all, when I needed you were there for me and you told me that everything is going to be fine. When I show you my feelings it's like you are kicking me out and not showing your feelings sometimes. I don't get it but despite that I will never stop showing you how I feel about you.