Flashback

"Does anyone know what the answer is?" The man said, all wide eyed and over enthusiastic s he always is. Hands shot up to answer the unanswered question, all of them eger to please and tell of their theories of the possibility of an answer. Out of all of those hands my hand remained within the revered constraint of  myself, sitting side by side with my lover who, he and I...Suddenly there was movement behind me, a black lanyard latching itself upon my neck and someone pulled. It wasn't a big pull, in fact it was a small one but it was enough to make me feel as if it was choking me on the neck, a single pull of the lanyard and I lost my breath. A single pull and my whole world turned upside down. The choking pressure of the lanyard unlatched itself around and instantly my hands grabbed softly around my neck. I blinked, one long slow motion and when I opened my eyes again everyone was looking ta me, or at least that I think that they were looking at me. Had the lesson ended? Was the lesson ending? Am I really here? I heard the dude that tried to choke me between me and my lover, I heard him kiss my lover twice but my lover declined each time. Was this really happening? Am I even here? I thought hearing the boy behind my lover mutter the distinctive words of "Is she really ticked off?" and then it was my lover who answered "Yeah." Then he said "I didn't even pull it that hard." Or so he claimed leaving my lovers side but then again I was the one who had felt it, the pull that still was as if phantom upon my neck. I could still feel it clawing at my skin, the deprivation of breath. Others had left after him however because more and more people left, all but my lover who sat still beside me answering any and every beckoning question that passed his way when I shut my eyes and zoned out completely, repeatedly, slowly and belatedly, as if it'll help but it didn't. It tried to and in a way it helped, I mean I couldn't see anything or anyone and their presence and their voices seemed to stay with me until I heard them all leave but he stayed (my lover) stayed with me comforting me, saying nothing, saying a little and even that was a lot. A fire boiled in him and in a way a fire boiled in me as well coiled over by the ever so drifting reality and again I find myself asking is this reality, am I still here and did this even happen; did Satan just use someone to try and kill me?


I think often about what had happened, the attempt that was made upon my life and at first I looked back dwelling in fear, staying in the constant dread that filled me, the feeling of the pulling lanyard still a phantom upon my neck and I can't help hide the would be scarred neck until it passes (and it will I know). I'll have to forgive a some point and at the beginning of it all I didn't want to, looking back on it now and my lover didn't (he still doesn't). So I done the only thing that I could do, I prayed and looked to He (the Light of my life) to whom I'm still alive and He showed me how great it'll be to embrace the would be killer with open arms and how awesome it would be to surprise everyone and forgive him for it. For instead of and eye for an eye I chose to forgive, even when I almost died but I'm still alive today, living, thriving, seeing yet another day.