A Heart In Pieces

I think that the things you have to remember after being with someone for so long that to all of a sudden change from being with that person to being with another person is that they're not the same person, so they're not going to find pleasure in the same things as the person before them. That's the difference and it takes a very long time for you to actually see that enough to remember it, to be intimate without being the one that is thinking 'name used to do that' or 'I wish name was here.' I think above all you'll come to the point where you'll adjust to that and no longer remember that...until the day that you can live with it being more than just a memory but reality also or until you believe in it too little too late.

Sometimes it's going to be hard to explain why things are the way they are because of that special something that you had with them once and because at the end of the day you'll still go back to them, even though it kills you inside, even though you care and even though things will forever be complicated between you and them. They're the last person that you would call when your hurting but then again they're the first person that you'd think of. Someone told me once that it's just one of those things that you can't forget; that I am one of those things that they still really do care about. That someone was them, the one that is the last person I'd think about in emergencies and they're the first person that I'd think of when I'm hurting.