Shadows At Night

It started where it began and it began where it ended, the first moment of the last thought that brought me here, to this, all of this everywhere and anywhere. I dreamed, I lived and in my turn to die I smile as within the blink of an eye I see all the things that was given to me as well as all of the things, in the darkening night, that were lost to me and broke me. I lived them, I cherished them all and as a friend of mine once said 'to die would be an awfully big adventure.'

My logic stands true as to the point I am both with and without any logic at all, isolated from the ways of life and society I am weak and sheltered but in my own way I am strong. For it is strength to be so isolated and bravery to speak to live, to dare associate myself with those that society and life chose to betray, even if I am by myself barely living at all. I survive. I could be exactly what I want to be, more than that in fact but I choose not to. Forced into choice of decisions that cannot be withheld, that cannot be obtained but then they are. In the dawn of the moment I realise what it's like to be something else entirely rather than just being me. I am more of two than I am me and I'm destroyed alone but together myself and I our own destruction. It is that we that dream our own sickening things, think our own sickening things and pained when they're brought out of me, tortured out of my one. I caged us once and I managed to keep it at bay, even though it gnashed it's teeth, clawed, yelled screamed and deceived it stayed in it's cage but then it got free and the only words that it speaks is 'you have no strings on me.'

Now whatever caged it before contained it for a time to therefore define it and all things aside as I lay there trapped in my own torment we are one. The eerie silence before is no more and so many thoughts creep into my mind, thoughts that I couldn't surrender to sanity and in the deepest and darkest parts of the night I find my shadow and suddenly I'm unafraid by what else awaits me. What else could be worse than this? I think to myself and in answer I know that nothing is.

I am but a shadow alone in the dark and what do shadows do? They hide.