Confusion

It's a strange thing these days like a  kaleidoscope  of remembrance swarming  in and out of memory or even our very existence. Words swirl around me, the world a blur around me and in the moment of complete uncertainty I can't help but think about things that already I need to know or don't already know. The need to do lists that are exploding through my head, smashing in and out of remembrance until then all that I know is all that I have and that is words, however slurred and stirred and images to go with it. I'm distracted somehow as I look up to the sky and pray a lost but hopeful prayer, crying, subconsciously sleeping or am I just dreaming? Now what's not was is and what is wasn't, it hasn't come to me like this before, the numbness in the midst of this world, my body still warm and worn but still somehow on my own. I turn. Suddenly I have this great urging to submerge myself in water and then to just float, float away, away; somewhere away. When will I think clearly again? Will I even be me again? Or will I even know myself when I look upon the sad brown eyes that are looking back at me in the mirror. I don't know, all that I know is that today isn't all tomorrow and that night is still upon me but morning will come soon and I will look once more to Him who is expecting me. For now it is night and tomorrow will be day and the cycle will continue and thus breaks my end.